MSDS - For your safety

[DW_ImAnArmyMan]

Element: Women
Symbol: WO2
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 118lb but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs
Occurrence: Copious quantities in urban areas

Physical properties

1. Surface usually covered with painted film
2. Boils at nothings, freezes without reasons
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states raging from virgin to common ore

Chemical properties

1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
reasons
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased in saturation in
alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known

Common uses

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sport cars
2. Can be great aid to relaxation

Tests

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside better specimen

Hazards

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands

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Element : Man
Symbol : Ah (short for Asshole)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4
inches.
Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for
ribs)
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration
near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties :
a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense,
melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo
(Snore... zzzzz).
f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to
extremely thick.
h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
i) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of
the Wo common ore.
j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when
subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied

Chemical properties :
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable
conditions.
c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects
(which tend to turn the specimen bright red.
f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other
elements.
h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the
malodorous variety.
j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

Storage :
a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable
reaction style.

Uses :
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast
information on many wavelengths.

Caution :
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to
a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.